On Bigotry

Any of you who know me know that I live a pretty kinky lifestyle. I'm fully aware that I'm fucked in the head and I'M OKAY WITH THAT. I try to respect others' right to be who they are and love who they wish in the manner that they wish to -- and I expect the same from them. That's HUMAN.

So it saddens me to say that I've been disillusioned today in a manner that's, unfortunately, all too common.

A very talented artist, and an incredibly knowledgeable and conscientious pet owner, CatharsisJB, posted a journal today that is as offensive as any I've seen, not in its wording, (which is innocuous,) but in the sense that it blatantly fails to take into account that she is pointing out for her fandom the evidence of someone ELSE'S LIFE. She doesn't point out that she wonders why one might do this, or that the photography quality is pretty good (which, for self-photography, it is,) or that it takes a visceral amount of bravery to be able to even dress for and take that kind of photograph, MUCH LESS POST IT IN A PUBLIC FORUM. Instead, she leaves the comments wide open by saying that "there are not words."

So, for your viewing pleasure, here's the VERY choice words with which I responded to her.

You know, for a website called "DEVIANT" art, you people sure are quick to judge and show yourselves to be overall offensively derisive of a deviant who's got the guts to be he/r/self.

JB, I'm not sure what your basis was for posting this link -- you didn't say anything derogatory yourself, but I'm finding myself having a hard time believing that it was for any reason other than to garner the kind of responses you have.

Kink has many faces. Forced "sissification," which is what this looks like, is one of them.

My heart goes out to brie, not for having the kink or for exploring it, but for having to put up daily with the kind of people who've so far posted comments to this journal in the course of he/r everyday life.

Grow the FUCK up, people, and open your provincial little minds. link

I expect to be flamed, and possibly dot-snarked or encyclopedia-dramaticaed. But I hope that, for all the judgemental, bigoted, insulting posts I'll probably get, at least ONE person bothers to sit back and THINK.

[X-posted to dA journal and livejournal.]

On differing kinks and persuasions:

I've thought kinky thoughts as long as I can remember. I remember thinking such thoughts years before puberty hit, long before my first orgasm, before I started masturbating, before I even knew what sex was. Sometimes thinking these thoughts made me feel funny down there, sometimes they were just errant passing thoughts. I remember wondering if the girl that sit next to me in 2nd grade would like to be tied to her chair; I think I might have even offered. Playing house with me involved spankings. I'm not sure where it came from, I don't recall having those sort of influences that young. It pre-dates what I recognize as my sexual awakening, it's just always been there. To this day, BDSM isn't about intercourse. It's never been a path to it for me, though it's sometimes a part of it. I know for some, BDSM is a sort of means to an end. It's the foreplay, the appetizer, whatever you want to call it. For me, most times it seems, it's the whole show.

I won't deny that BDSM is sexual in nature. It's in the sexuality sphere, without a doubt. What it seems to do most is light up my mind, and that is such a turn on for me. I'm a geek, unabashed. Want to win my heart? Tell me a math joke. Make me a heart wreath out of 10Base5 cabling. Bonus points for being able to terminate it properly. Write me a poem that includes the words ethernet and keyboard. I am largely an introvert, I spend a lot of time inside my own mind. I like it there. It's a bit jumbled, but it's cozy, and it's home. Turn my brain on and you'll have my attention. Please note: I'm not saying I don't like sex. Quite the opposite is true, I'm a big fan. Fact is, though, it's not what I'm usually looking for when BDSM is involved. Sometimes it's right, but not always, and lately, not often. This is not the case for many, it seems, and I can only explain for myself. To those for whom BDSM and kinkiness is something different than what it is for me:

Thank goodness for diversity. I'm glad to know you.

We're all in this together, folks. The media fails to portray us with a shred of dignity, the government seems to want us hiding and cowering in our bedrooms under our leather sheets, and the in-fighting gets old. We're all pervy folks just trying to make it through this life best we can. To the Goreans, the Old Guard, the light spankers, the ponies and puppies, t/The p/People w/Who c/Capitalize t/Things, it's good to know you. To the edge players and the pissers, the yiffers and vores, the adult babies and the feeders, the IRC chat room slaves and the non-submissive masochists... to all of you kinky folk, the in and the out, the gay, the straight, the queer, the genderfluid and the plain ole confused.. I'm glad to know you. You make this world wonderful. I take BDSM a little more seriously than I probably should, and I know this. It's a serious thing for me, because I've known it all of my life, and I've had to defend my perversions more times than I care to count. I've been treated as sub-human by those who would abuse it, and side show freak by those who would point and laugh. I love you all, and I am proud to share this part of my sexuality sphere with you. We do each other a disservice when we scoff, when we point and laugh at our own brethren, and when we roll our eyes. I am guilty of this myself on occasion, and it pains me every time I realize it. Call me on it when you see it, please.

My goal in life is simple. Make it through this life, having had as much fun as I can without stepping on too many toes. For those of you doing the same, for those whom kinkiness is a sizeable part of that.. I love you, brother.

More on experience

Found via a link in a friend's lj, I had to link this here.

After you've read it, you will know me better -- this is where I go with flogging. In fact, this is where I go in most of my BDSM experiences.

I fight constantly to feel, to be present in the moment, to focus on the physical self, to be here now. Flogging helps me to do this. Once I am entirely present, I no longer worry about appearance or the messy chemical soup of emotions and surface tension in my head -- I can start to see more of Who I Am. As Burroughs would say, I can "listen down into myself" and hear the echo coming back.

THIS is where I go, when my Master and I go to play at Crucible. I need it at least once a month and do best when I can have it every couple weeks or so. (Besides, it takes that long for the bruises to heal.)

I am so much a cathartic submissive that the mental depth I crave cannot be attained until after I've at least begun to have a cathartic release. I can flit along the surface or attain one of my limited repertoire of other altered states that fit into the greater category headspace, but until my amygdala's been hooked directly into my nerve endings, (leaving large portions of my cerebral cortex out of the equation,) I have a hard time attaining the deep, silent state with which I equate my "slave" headspace.

This post is just another waypoint in my lifelong love-hate relationship with the lump of matter inside my skull. Hope I haven't been too confusing.