On differing kinks and persuasions:
I've thought kinky thoughts as long as I can remember. I remember thinking such thoughts years before puberty hit, long before my first orgasm, before I started masturbating, before I even knew what sex was. Sometimes thinking these thoughts made me feel funny down there, sometimes they were just errant passing thoughts. I remember wondering if the girl that sit next to me in 2nd grade would like to be tied to her chair; I think I might have even offered. Playing house with me involved spankings. I'm not sure where it came from, I don't recall having those sort of influences that young. It pre-dates what I recognize as my sexual awakening, it's just always been there. To this day, BDSM isn't about intercourse. It's never been a path to it for me, though it's sometimes a part of it. I know for some, BDSM is a sort of means to an end. It's the foreplay, the appetizer, whatever you want to call it. For me, most times it seems, it's the whole show.
I won't deny that BDSM is sexual in nature. It's in the sexuality sphere, without a doubt. What it seems to do most is light up my mind, and that is such a turn on for me. I'm a geek, unabashed. Want to win my heart? Tell me a math joke. Make me a heart wreath out of 10Base5 cabling. Bonus points for being able to terminate it properly. Write me a poem that includes the words ethernet and keyboard. I am largely an introvert, I spend a lot of time inside my own mind. I like it there. It's a bit jumbled, but it's cozy, and it's home. Turn my brain on and you'll have my attention. Please note: I'm not saying I don't like sex. Quite the opposite is true, I'm a big fan. Fact is, though, it's not what I'm usually looking for when BDSM is involved. Sometimes it's right, but not always, and lately, not often. This is not the case for many, it seems, and I can only explain for myself. To those for whom BDSM and kinkiness is something different than what it is for me:
Thank goodness for diversity. I'm glad to know you.
We're all in this together, folks. The media fails to portray us with a shred of dignity, the government seems to want us hiding and cowering in our bedrooms under our leather sheets, and the in-fighting gets old. We're all pervy folks just trying to make it through this life best we can. To the Goreans, the Old Guard, the light spankers, the ponies and puppies, t/The p/People w/Who c/Capitalize t/Things, it's good to know you. To the edge players and the pissers, the yiffers and vores, the adult babies and the feeders, the IRC chat room slaves and the non-submissive masochists... to all of you kinky folk, the in and the out, the gay, the straight, the queer, the genderfluid and the plain ole confused.. I'm glad to know you. You make this world wonderful. I take BDSM a little more seriously than I probably should, and I know this. It's a serious thing for me, because I've known it all of my life, and I've had to defend my perversions more times than I care to count. I've been treated as sub-human by those who would abuse it, and side show freak by those who would point and laugh. I love you all, and I am proud to share this part of my sexuality sphere with you. We do each other a disservice when we scoff, when we point and laugh at our own brethren, and when we roll our eyes. I am guilty of this myself on occasion, and it pains me every time I realize it. Call me on it when you see it, please.
My goal in life is simple. Make it through this life, having had as much fun as I can without stepping on too many toes. For those of you doing the same, for those whom kinkiness is a sizeable part of that.. I love you, brother.
I won't deny that BDSM is sexual in nature. It's in the sexuality sphere, without a doubt. What it seems to do most is light up my mind, and that is such a turn on for me. I'm a geek, unabashed. Want to win my heart? Tell me a math joke. Make me a heart wreath out of 10Base5 cabling. Bonus points for being able to terminate it properly. Write me a poem that includes the words ethernet and keyboard. I am largely an introvert, I spend a lot of time inside my own mind. I like it there. It's a bit jumbled, but it's cozy, and it's home. Turn my brain on and you'll have my attention. Please note: I'm not saying I don't like sex. Quite the opposite is true, I'm a big fan. Fact is, though, it's not what I'm usually looking for when BDSM is involved. Sometimes it's right, but not always, and lately, not often. This is not the case for many, it seems, and I can only explain for myself. To those for whom BDSM and kinkiness is something different than what it is for me:
Thank goodness for diversity. I'm glad to know you.
We're all in this together, folks. The media fails to portray us with a shred of dignity, the government seems to want us hiding and cowering in our bedrooms under our leather sheets, and the in-fighting gets old. We're all pervy folks just trying to make it through this life best we can. To the Goreans, the Old Guard, the light spankers, the ponies and puppies, t/The p/People w/Who c/Capitalize t/Things, it's good to know you. To the edge players and the pissers, the yiffers and vores, the adult babies and the feeders, the IRC chat room slaves and the non-submissive masochists... to all of you kinky folk, the in and the out, the gay, the straight, the queer, the genderfluid and the plain ole confused.. I'm glad to know you. You make this world wonderful. I take BDSM a little more seriously than I probably should, and I know this. It's a serious thing for me, because I've known it all of my life, and I've had to defend my perversions more times than I care to count. I've been treated as sub-human by those who would abuse it, and side show freak by those who would point and laugh. I love you all, and I am proud to share this part of my sexuality sphere with you. We do each other a disservice when we scoff, when we point and laugh at our own brethren, and when we roll our eyes. I am guilty of this myself on occasion, and it pains me every time I realize it. Call me on it when you see it, please.
My goal in life is simple. Make it through this life, having had as much fun as I can without stepping on too many toes. For those of you doing the same, for those whom kinkiness is a sizeable part of that.. I love you, brother.
posted by Niy at
12:18 AM
2 Comments:
*applauds*
*gives you a big 'ol hug*
And THIS is why I think we have what we have together. Because you think about it, you articulate it, and you make a space where I feel safe enough to explore the things that scare me.
This is so the beginning of a long and beautiful friendship. :-)
I love the way you said this, and I definitely applaud you as well. I recently blogged about a similar topic (somewhat different but just a little similar) and the main point of similarity being that in this arena of kink, I long for us all to just get along. I wish there was no cliques and snobbery between groups, in fact, I wish there was all-inclusiveness. Someday, I believe, we will all just get along. I cannot stop hoping and believing that it can happen.
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